Gentle readers, in my last post we covered a whole slew of reasons why it’s important people step forward and speak up. In this post we’ll continue the theme and address exactly HOW you’re supposed to carry it off!

I find it interesting when those in leadership roles say, “We have an open door policy here. No one should ever hesitate to bring an issue to my attention. After all, I can take it!” While that may be true, it doesn’t mean that others feel confident enough – trust enough – to walk through that door.

Open door

A number of obstacles prevent them from bringing you their concerns. Maybe they fear for their job if they say the wrong thing (i.e. kill the messenger). Perhaps they’ve spoken up in the past and it wasn’t well received. They ended up going on “The List”. (You know which list I’m talking about, right?) Maybe there was subtle or overt retaliation. They probably even paid close attention the last time someone else took a stand and raised an issue – and watched as that person was left out of the loop, marginalized and even mocked.

I can tell you what it feels like, because those of us who attend Tea Parties, still to this day continue to be ridiculed…because we dared to speak up…because we cared enough to speak up. But all the ridicule in the world is worth it when you believe strongly in something based on deeply held principles.

So for those of you who dare, here’s HOW to speak up and raise your issue:

1. List the outcomes you’re after. First, ask yourself, “What results am I trying to achieve. How will I know if or when I’m successful?”
2. Consider your audience. Whom do you wish to influence? Are they interested in facts and specifics or is it real life experiences that sway them? Then position your message to meet their needs – not yours.
3. Practice first in a low-threat environment. No need to go straight into the lion’s den if you don’t have to. Pick a few friends who will listen to your pitch and see what they think about your approach. Adjust your message based on their feedback.
4. Test the waters. Check in with a few politically savvy colleagues to see if this is the right time. There could be winds a’ blowin’ powerful enough to cause a shipwreck if you walked through the door today vs tomorrow.
5. Use the “4-F” Method to maintain focus: address the FACTS of the situation, then the FEELINGS people experience, followed by the FALLOUT which are the results or ramifications if nothing changes, then be sure to ask for FEEDBACK. There’s no particular order you must follow – adapt it to your circumstances.
6. Use the CARLA Concept(TM) Model to analyze before and after. Some people call this a ‘post-mortem’ when you do a gap analysis on the heels of a big project. C = identify the circumstances you face; A = clarify the actions you plan to take (or did take); R = the results you achieved (or hope to achieve); L = the lessons learned; A = alternatives or another approach for the future. If you write out each step in this Model and plug in your circumstances, you’ll be better prepared.
7. Write a letter. Some of us are more persuasive when we write our concerns down vs verbalize them. We can always “talk to” the points on paper, but writing it down will relieve some of the stress of having to remember it all.
8. Listen first. Simmer down a bit, squelch that rising sense of injustice and frustration and make yourself listen to the other side before you loosen the tongue!
9. Build a backbone – be determined. Don’t give up if you get knocked around a bit the first time – figuratively speaking, of course! Few things worth having come easy. The process of having to reassert yourself will test your resolve, help you refine your words, develop your reasoning and build critical thinking skills. Don’t be a wussy and give up 5 minutes before the miracle!
10. Stick to your principles. Do not allow yourself to get sidetracked on incidental arguments. Avoid following someone down the rabbit hole and stay centered on your key message and core concerns.
11. Your opinion may not matter. If you’re talking ethics issues here, your opinion doesn’t count. There are guidelines, rules and standards by which we operate in any organization or governing body. It’s easy to get caught up in the grey areas, so remember to go back to those core principles as “true north” to avoid being compromised.
12. Lower your voice. The higher your voice tone, the more likely you will escalate the situation into a shouting match. Dropping your voice one octave can serve to calm the others down, lower the stress level and allow people to hear one another better.
13. Reassess the win-win. You know, I always disliked that term because to me, it smacked of “roll over” and give up. But there ARE ways to find areas of common agreement. In one of Stephen Covey’s lessons, he uses the analogy of two people sitting in a room. One is cold and wants the window closed; the other is warm and wants the window open. See if you can think of a number of ways to achieve “comfort” for both parties that may have nothing to do with the window at all.

I think 13 is a good number to close with, don’t you?

Till next time…

Got something to say?

Are you frustrated, concerned, alarmed? About anything? Anything at all?

Then, like my Dad would say when I was just a little shaver, “Don’t be shy, Laurie Jean! Speak up!”

Easy enough for him to say (I’d think)! He’s not the one to suffer the ramifications if I put my foot in my mouth! I’m the one who will turn purple, suffer the dirty looks, feel the subtle signs of disapproval, retaliation and even public shunning!

Okay, perhaps I’m going a bit too far, but it feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it? You KNOW there’s something that needs to be said, but you’re not sure HOW to do it, WHEN to do it or whether it will do any good in the long run!

Right?

So to help you tackle this dilemma, here are reasons WHY it’s important to raise your voice respectfully and make your opinions known:

1. Because you have more influence with others than you might expect
2. Because your willingness to speak up with give others courage to do the same
3. Because you are in a leadership role and people are looking to you to TAKE the lead and do the right thing
4. Because your credibility depends on it
5. Because if not you, then who?
6. Because your viewpoint is unique and born of your experiences – something no one else can offer!
7. Because if you don’t, you’ll be cheating your team, your community, professional association, school or district out of your insights and wisdom
8. Because you need the practice. Let’s face it, this is not an easy thing to do and it doesn’t always come naturally. You become a better leader and a much more confident person once you put those “pipes” to work!
9. Because it will help you think “out loud”. Many of us need to hear ourselves talk (some more than others! haha!) to refine our thoughts.
10. To test your ideas, concepts and opinions out on others to see how they are received.
11. Because your ideas may need a little tweaking. Perhaps others can shed some light on your way of thinking or add information to help you craft your message in a more effective manner.
12. Because it’s high time
13. Because no one else will
14. Because it could save lives, save money, avoid embarrassment or build consensus
15. Because throwing that pillow at your TV is eventually going to cost you some money
16. Because people you admire are doing it
17. Because your team, church, school, neighborhood, family, board, association and our nation depends on it!

Does that help?

Next, we’ll discuss HOW to raise an issue respectfully, speak up, share your knowledge and make your opinions known in ways that create constructive outcomes!

Warm regards,

Laura, writing from my Colorado cabin at 7200 ft. above sea level

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” –Dr. Seuss

It’s sad to note Field and Stream Huntress is no longer an active blog, but while they were, the editor was kind enough to post a joke or two and a number of stories I sent them. I enjoyed reading the comments people added to some of the posts – especially one on self-sufficiency.

I think we’ve become too darned dependent and are losing the ability to be self-sufficient.

We rely on automobiles to get around, even if we’re only going around the corner, which then prompts us to pay money and join a gym so we can exercise with machines. We rely on technology to send emails to someone sitting right next to us at work rather than build those interpersonal communication muscles. If something breaks, we’re more likely to throw it away versus figure out a way to fix it. In an emergency, we wait around for someone to rescue us instead of rolling up our sleeves to help ourselves. Helicopter parents instill a “learned helplessness” in their children. This escalates to an absurd level when mom or dad calls “little Johnny’s” supervisor to protest the performance rating their child received. (I’m not making this up.)

When’s the last time you did something for the very first time?

When my friend Paul Hauler in Rochester NY asked me the question above I answered, “Last month when I learned how to hunt elk.” But it occurred to me that I’d also settled into a pretty safe lifestyle. I hadn’t been stretching myself, learning new things or risking very often. On the contrary, I’d been working hard to LIMIT risk after having been through a few personally grueling years.

The problem with protection is we contract. Rather than reach out to explore and expand, we close up and limit opportunities. We don’t learn new skills and develop self-sufficiency muscles that make us more resilient, resourceful and better able to bounce back from life’s challenges and change.

Maybe elk hunting wouldn’t be your first choice, but perhaps you might try one of the following:

• scuba diving
• taking a new route to work
• trying a different restaurant
• fixing something rather than throwing it out
• persevering through till the end of that challenging book
• learning a new skill, such as woodworking
• change a flat tire

Once in a while, do something that is really, really hard.

Put yourself in a position where you feel dumb. Where you’re not sure of the answer, so you have to muddle through to figure it out. Whether you get it right the first time or it takes you a number of tries, you will gain a greater sense of self-confidence knowing you’ve tackled something difficult and didn’t give up.

And here’s the most important benefit of all…

You’ll model for others it’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to fail once in a while and it’s good to put your ego at risk to become more self-sufficient in the long run!

Want to start with something fairly safe? Inserted below is an exercise I use in my training seminars. It’s called The Painter’s Cup and it’s fun to do with a work team, your scouting pack, board members, book club or ladies group at church. Through this exercise, people will learn what it feels like to be doing something for the very first time. Enjoy!

Laura

PAINTER’S CUP EXERCISE

You can either facilitate this process by yourself for the entire group OR you can break them up into mini-teams and have each group select their own team leader. Then, take these team leaders to a private location and teach them how to make the Painter’s Cup. They will then return to their team and guide them through the exercise below. Warn them to expect people to get frustrated. Some will refuse to complete the exercise, some might walk out the door and some might crumple up the paper and throw it at them!

Team Leader: Quickly read these instructions to your team. Do not allow them to ask questions. As people become more frustrated, read the directions again, more slowly this time. Answer questions as they arise. The third time, read the instructions and SHOW them how to make the painters cup, step by step.

“Roll the piece of paper lengthwise into thirds and crease.

Then, roll the piece of paper crosswise into thirds and crease again.

Take the two folds which outline one corner and bring those folds together in a straight line. Crease the edge you have created.

Then, do the same for each corner.

Take two of the corner seams you just created, fold them back and across each other, and fold the excess down at the top.

Do the same to complete the other side of the box.

I’m finished with my instructions. Please make your painter’s cup.”

_________________________________________________________________________

TEAM LEADER: AFTER EVERYONE HAS FINISHED MAKING THEIR PAINTER’S CUP, DISCUSS THESE QUESTIONS AND LEVERAGE THE TEACHING MOMENTS!

1. What was frustrating about this exercise?

2. What made you successful – eventually?

Q: Dear Laura, what’s taking you so darned long to tell us about Day 2 of your elk hunting trip? We’re beginning to wonder if you really did “bring home the bacon”!

A: Okay, okay. Now just simmer down. We all know a good story takes time and because of a few skeptics who shall go unnamed, (“I can’t believe a creampuff like you could bring down an elk!”) I want to make sure I get this story right.  So thanks for your patience and here it is: Day 2 of The Big Elk Hunt.

If you’ll remember back to day one of our hunting trip, our party consisted of the five guys and myself. You may also remember some of the communication lessons that came from that experience. Day 2 is also chock full of helpful learning points, including:

Communication Tip 1: Don’t take yourself so seriously

You can see from the photo below why I chose the hunter handle, “Teletubby Hunter”. Yes, indeedy. It’s not just your butt that looks fat in those insulated Carhart pants, the puffy blaze orange jacket doesn’t do much for one’s self image either.

But who cares when you’re warm? The issue is not how you look – it’s what you bring home at the end of the day! And the secret to fitting in is to make sure you don’t act like a prima dona. A little self-deprecating humor goes a long, long way!

Communication Tip 2: Words may matter, but things aren’t always as they appear

For example, those early morning discussions over who plans to follow what fenceline up which hill are more important than you might think. You might be tempted to think this was only casual small talk, but ”oh contraire”, this was a crucial conversation. It could easily impact who saw the elk first, who scared the elk so far away no one could get a shot off or who would drive the elk straight into the sights of THE OTHER HUNTERS! (These are the guys you nod to when their truck drives by, being careful not to appear too friendly. They’re the competition, ya know, at least until you’ve filled your tag and then you can smile up a storm!)

Let’s listen in to how this high stakes game played out:

• What they said was: “So, what direction ya think you’ll be headin’?”
• What they meant was: “I’m hopin’ you head up thataway ’cause I know you can’t hit the side of a barn door, and sure enough, you’ll spook ‘em down that draw and I’ll just be sittin’ here waitin for ‘em with my trusty 308.”

Here’s what else is going on behind the scenes: The dominant male in the group is typically the first one to raise that “…where ya going?” question so he can sit back, chew on the toothpick for a bit and carefully consider where he’d prefer to go. This highly sophisticated communication maneuver is designed to out-flank your hunting pals. You might think he’s being considerate, when really, the first person who speaks up loses. Now that they’ve committed, the Alpha Male is free to do whatever the heck he wants, knowing the others are stuck with their first choice.

Communication Tip 3: Silence is golden

When you’re stalking the elusive Wapiti, you quickly learn when to whisper, when to be quiet and how to use non-verbal communication.

So there’s Dave and I slogging up the hill making enough snowshoe noise to wake the dead. I’m chatting away, “Isn’t this beautiful up here? Look at how the moon is shining through the mist. Do ya think we’ll see some elk soon? Are we there yet?”

All of a sudden, he grabs my arm. (An important non-verbal signal that usually means, “Please stop talking” or perhaps, “Please shut up”.)

“Shhhh, there’s elk” he whispers.  “There’s elk! Right - over – there!”

Since he’s taller than me, he sees them first. Being shorter, I can only see the sagebrush tops, so I grab my field glasses and quickly scan the horizon.

“What elk? I can’t see ‘em!” I shout.

Now he’s tapping me on my arm. The more he taps, the more my hands jiggle and the more the horizon jumps up and down, up and down. I whisper back between gritted teeth, “Quit tapping my arm! I can’t see a thing!”

Yes, folks, it was easy to misread his non-verbal cues. What the tapping really meant was, “Let me take off your snowshoes so we can sneak up on ‘em”.

Communication Tip #4: Elk and people use ALL their senses to survive

So off came the snowshoes and we dropped to our knees, slowly creeping from one sagebush to another. With every move, I came precariously close to breaking through the crust covered snow and falling flat on my face. To avoid an accident, I balanced that rifle carefully across my arms and waddled forward, ever closer to the still grazing animals.

“I can’t believe they haven’t heard us”, I whispered.

“We’re upwind. They can’t see you and it’s hard to hear through the fog so they’ll probably smell you first.”

Fortunately, I didn’t have time to over-think that last comment ’cause just then, their ears, eyes or noses must have kicked in. Heads perked up and legs started moving. For such big animals, they sure can hop-to when they want to. A few careful shots and there was meat for the freezer. One tag filled and one left to go!

Communication Tip #5: There IS an “I” in team

While I’m a big believer in teamwork, it was a mighty fine sight seeing that snowmobiler make quick work moving a 600 lb. elk down the hill, over the bumps and up to the truck. I can brag about as well as anyone about the day’s adventures, but I also have no problem sharing the spotlight with the guy who saved us another 3 hours worth of work!

Whoops! Nope, not this little guy. This is his son, the mighty Hunter Helper.

Speaking of teamwork, there’s nothing more appreciated than the ”atta boy” my hunting partners offered when we regrouped back at the truck. No matter how many times I made them wait (for one thing or another) and for putting up with all my concerns that they could have cared less about (“Does mascara freeze at 10 below?”) they always made me feel quite welcome.

See what a welcoming group they are? They’re very happy the day was over! (The result of all their hard work was just out of sight in the foreground of this photo, carefully cropped so as not to offend anyone’s sensibilities.)

A special thanks also to the good folks at Elhorn Outfitters and Blue Gravel for their hospitality and for sending out that snowmobile! We couldn’t have done it without you, John!

Your “Teletubby Hunter”, writing from 6711 ft. above sea level

Coming up next: Day 3, the baby elk encounter and how I made peace with the ethics of elk hunting

Ever had to sit through one of those excruciatingly boring teleclasses, virtual meetings or webinars? You know the ones. You’ve got someone droning on and on and on until anything within sight serves as a worthy distraction. How about that speck of dust floating by? That’s interesting…look how it’s shaped. Look how it floats softly down from the acoustical tile ceiling. I wonder how much of that stuff ends up in my hair?

Every day, millions of people are subject to these telephone and web based forms of punishment with no choice but to remain glued to their chairs.

But a few hardy souls have found a way to mitigate this brain-numbing experience. And who can blame them? Once they reach the outer limits of what any human should be expected to bear…

…the emails begin…slowly at first, tentatively testing the commitment of like-minded captives.

Let’s listen in, shall we?

Setting: A virtual team meeting facilitated by an Expert who knows everything about anything.

Email Subject Line: AUHHHHHGG!

Victim 1: Are you paying attention?

Victim 2: I hope nobody hears me snoring; he’s putting me to sleep.

Victim 1: This guy’s outta control; he’s rambling all over the place!  He just doesn’t know when to stop! “Does anyone know how the world was  created? Here, let me tell you how it was done….”

Victim 2: UGH!!!!

Victim 1: Kill me now…I might just jump out of my 7th story window.

Person 2: If he doesn’t finish soon they’re gonna find me on the floor with a hari kari knife stuck in my gut.

Those poor, poor souls! How much more of this can people take? Is it possible they are not alone? Do others, in fact, face similar circumstances?

I’m betting the answer is a resounding “yes”! I’d bet this is one of the key contributors to employee turnover and a serious drop in engagement levels. But never fear, I also have ways to stem the tide of those who run screaming and clawing to be the first out the door…never, ever to return!

Employee Engagement Tips:

Tip 1: Cut the number and length of virtual meetings, teleclasses and webinars by 20%. Notice how their energy increases, attitudes improvement and productivity levels rise.

Tip 2: Pre-qualify anyone who presents virtual meetings against the “Scale of Boredom”. This scale ranges from a “10-Just Shoot Me” down to a “1-This is SO good, I’m Taking Notes and May Even Remember 20% of This Stuff!”

This is a good start. Perhaps we’ll get additional ideas submitted over the next week or so and I’ll promise to post the ones that aren’t “spam in disguise”.

Until next time, from your Colorado Communication Coach writing at 6711 ft. above sea level…

Laura B.

Mike Rosen at 850 KOA addressed an issue this week that’s got parents, school districts, bus drivers and state governments up in arms. The issue is school bus drivers talking on cell phones while driving children to and from school.

Last week an 850 KOA listener called in to the radio station tip line to say he noticed a Denver Public School bus weaving and signaling to turn left, yet he turned right. The listener followed the bus and discovered the driver was talking on his cell phone. (If you click on the link above, you can hear both sides of the story.)

In 1997, the American School Bus Council  adopted a position to exceed the National Transportation Safety Board and urged a ban on school bus drivers talking on cell phones while driving, loading and unloading students. It appears that 14 states have also enacted legislation supporting the ban.

Rosen’s point was that we shouldn’t need government to get involved in such things, since any employer at any time can forbid certain activities which place employees, customers or others at risk. Employers do it all the time – and should!

I agree with him. We don’t ask the government to require data entry people to take a break from their keyboarding every every 30 minutes, or mandate that medical students get 7 hours sleep for every 12 hour shift they pull. Yet both these groups of people are at risk of making mistakes if they don’t take time to rest before going back to work.

But the bigger question is this…what’s taking the school bus companies and the school districts (the employers) so long to establish and enforce a standard of no cell phones while driving, loading or unloading the kids? Perhaps it’s already in force and drivers are just not following the rules, but I suspect this is a political hot potato especially in unionized environments.

There’s no doubt about it – cell phones are handy to have, especially in times of emergency. But NO driver should ever be talking on a cell phone while they are “on duty”. If call center reps can’t accept or make personal phone calls while on the job, why should school bus drivers be allowed to do so?

Oh, and one more thing…I’ve been privileged recently to do work for pupil transportation groups here in Colorado and find that most school bus drivers’ number one concern is student safety. In fact, at a recent teambuilder for Adams 12 Schools north of Denver, the in-service event included how to raise awareness of the importance of drivers stopping for the kids when the bus ”STOP” sign is extended.

As drivers, we all know (or should know) that when that sign pops out, you need to stop and wait until the driver pulls the sign back in. But plenty of people just whiz on by, more concerned with their schedule than the safety of our children.

But someone in the group mentioned this common sense law isn’t even part of the Colorado written driver’s license test. If it’s true, now that’s a government intervention I would expect should happen post-haste, especially given the influx of new residents within our communities.

Writing from 6711 ft. and expecting more snow!

Laura Benjamin, Interpersonal Communication Coach

While I know you’re just chomping at the bit to read the next segment of my elk hunting story, I just had to slip this one in.

Last week I discovered my Dad’s website hosting plan had expired and since I manage it for him, I hurried to have them reinstate it. This particular company does not welcome phone calls and prefers to communicate with customers using Instant Messages or email.

(By the way, am I the only person these days who makes a buying decision based not so much on price, but also based on the type of service I think I’m going to get? A dead giveaway for me is when they discourage phone calls from customers.)

Anyway, I went through the hoops and submitted my email based trouble ticket to the help desk folks. Then, because I was in such an all-fired hurry, I logged onto their Instant Message Help Desk also. No kidding, I bet it took “them” over 10 minutes to answer my “what’s happening here and how can I fix it?” message and then left me hanging for another 10 by saying, “I’ll be just a moment….” After 5 minutes I sent another message, “Are U still there?” The response came back, “…yes…”

That was enough for me, so I hopped on over to another website host I’ve used in the past. The other company was obviously not too anxious to reclaim my business, so I figured I’d give BlueHost a try. (I get no compensation to refer them, by the way, but hope they get tons of new business after this plug.)

Here’s what I love about these folks:

• THEY give out their phone number
• They let you know when you’re on hold how many other callers are ahead of you, so you can judge your own time commitment
• In between the status updates, you get music and a perky, friendly voice that’s easy on the ear giving you tips on how to better use their service
• One particular message asks, “Did you know you can access our online help tutorial at….” then stresses, “…but don’t worry, we still want to talk to you!” Most companies will just about slap you with a fine if you haven’t gone to their FAQ or Help Page first. (Whatever you do, never admit you skipped that part!) 
• But here’s the ONE THING I’VE NEVER HEARD ON ANY OTHER HOLD MESSAGE and which endeared them to me immediately: “Thank you for waiting. One of our highly trained technicians, WORKING IN THE USA, will be right with you. You are now caller #___.”

That did it for me folks. Not only do they want to hear from their customers, but they’ve hit a nerve that has become the laughingstock of the customer service industry. NOTE to businesses: We consumers want to talk to a customer service, sales or technical help desk person we can understand. And if we can’t understand them, we’ll either hang up and call back later hoping to get someone different OR, if given the choice, we’ll vow to do business with another company in the future. We’ve had enough of your cost saving efforts costing US time, money and frustration.

Oh, and another thing that wowed me? Within 10 minutes of plunking down my credit card and setting up my Dad’s website on their server, they called me! Yup, THEY called ME! Why? To make sure my website transfer was going smoothly and to answer any of my questions.

Now do you see why I just HAD to post on this experience?

If you’ve got any interesting, informative “hold messages” you’d like to share, please submit a comment. (As always, spammers and “closet spammers” please do not waste your time.)

Writing from Colorado at 6711 ft. above sea level,

Laura

What’s it like to be the only woman on an elk hunt with five gentlemen? It was pretty interesting! It was also a study in gender differences and the way men and women communicate.

Now, this wasn’t my first elk hunt, but it was the only one in the past five years where I’ve had a tag AND been the only lady on the trip. And both situations gave me greater understanding how ideas and action plans are communicated when men get to talkin’.

First there was the ”get yer truck stuck” challenge. See the guys trying to dig it out? See their smiling faces? Don’t they look relaxed and happy? Kinda look like they’re on vacation, don’t they?

Lesson #1. Non-verbals can be flat out wrong. They may LOOK relaxed and happy, but that photo was taken after about two hours of concentrated digging. And I can tell you, their facial expressions did not match all the “words of encouragement” bantered about on that ridgetop!

Lesson #2. You go first. Snow was “abundant” in northwest Colorado that winter and the back roads had drifted over. But there could be herds up over them thar hills! Should we risk it? Let’s listen in to how that decision was made:

“Hey, you guys go on up that road over there and we’ll stay down here. It’s okay. You’ll make it. No problem. We were up there last year and it was a piece ‘a cake!”

Lesson #3. Adversity is the mother of invention

• First, you spend a few minutes standing around to sum up the situation. “Probly shouldn’t have gunned it that hard, eh? Whaddya think?”
• Next, strategize a solution. Get something to slip under the tires to get some traction. ”Maybe those wood slats will work. Lucky we brought along that pallet. Hey Dave, good thing you jumped fast when those slats shot out from the back tires. Coulda been a mighty short huntin trip for you, yessir!”
• Try new ideas. “How about while you’re gunnin’ it, we all pile into the truck bed and jump up and down? That way the tires might hit the road dirt and we can pull right on outa here!”

Folks, this is how decision-making goes awry. You figure the first person who opens their mouth has all the answers or you’re influenced by somebody’s enthusiastic communication style. So you follow their lead and in the process, dig yourself deeper and get covered with mud.

Lesson #4: Don’t be afraid to ask for directions, um…I mean, ask for help

Frantic phone calls to farmers in 3 surrounding states yielded some very generous and helpful locals. Here you see the trusty rescue vehicle they used to pluck the truck.

Stuck truck rescue vehicle

I think it’s a hay baler.

It pulled that truck outta there like a matchstick and dragged it back down to the county road where we stood around and talked about it for another half hour or so.  Um, actually it was more like a “debrief”.

Lesson #5: Maximize the lessons learned

You’ve heard the old adage that unless you do something different, history is bound to repeat itself? Therefore, it’s important to analyze each and every learning opportunity in-depth, to maximize the lessons learned. So soon after, we called it a day and hurried back to the historic Old Victory Motel to hunker down with a cold one for an intensive Gap Analysis Session – close to Woody’s big screen TV.

Here’s Woody’s Victory Motel now…

Here it was then…

What does a Gap Analysis Session sound like? Kinda like this…

• “No sirreee, I wouldn’a done that with MY truck!”
• “Maybe the snow IS just a little deeper than last year.”
• “Next time, let’s bring a metal shovel instead of my kid’s plastic one.”
• “Maybe next time, YOU go up that road first!”

Lesson #6. Persistence pays off

Here’s the last thing I learned from the menfolk – you can’t get discouraged and you’ve got to be willing to get up at 4am and do it all over again the following day. I’m sure you’re just dying to know what happened next, so follow me over to Day Number Two!

Laura

I have a friend/client who is a D.A.R.E. Officer and he has the best stories!

Don’t know what D.A.R.E. is? It stands for Drug Abuse Resistance Education – police officer led classroom instruction that teaches kids from kindergarten through 12th grade how to resist peer pressure and live drug and violence-free lives. D.A.R.E. was founded in 1983 in Los Angeles and has been implemented in 75% of our nation’s school districts and 43 countries around the world. My kids went through it; it’s an exceptionally worthwhile program.

It appears the Officers benefit too, since (as Art Linkletter always said) kids DO say the darndest things! My friend says he puts a Question Box in his classroom so kids who are hesitant to speak up or want to remain anonymous can write a question on a piece of paper and place it in the box for him to answer in front of the class. Here are two questions he was asked recently:

1. In the law enforcement world, “MIP” means “minor in possession” – underage possession of alcohol or tobacco. One curious 6th grader asked, ”What is the difference between an MIP and a Mr. Meaner?” (We’ll pause a moment while that one sinks in!)

2. Another 11 year old wrote, “How harmful to the body is it when you smoke TABASCO?”

Cute, eh? He said it’s interesting that while our young people can take a computer apart, program an Ipod and talk in text acronyms that make your head spin, they don’t always grasp the bigger picture. For instance, they don’t always make the connection that “tobacco” is the harmful substance that’s IN cigarettes. It might seem like common knowledge to us adults, so we assume it is for them as well.

Too often we assume kids know more than they do – that they’ll connect the dots automatically because they’re so exposed to TV, cell phones and the Internet. But not always as we can see from the stories above. Sometimes our larger “field of vision” and ability to fill in the gaps from life experience leads us to assume things we shouldn’t about what our kids know. And it’s always an eye opener when we discover one of those knowledge gaps.

And it’s not just limited to 6th graders, by the way. When my eldest son opened his first checking account, he asked me how to fill out his first check. Since he owed me money, I was very happy to oblige him!

So I said, “Wilder (that’s really his name), you fill in the date, then write in the dollar amount in this little box. Then you write out the whole amount like a sentence on that line down there. Then you write my name on the Pay to the Order Of line just above it – and sign your name at the bottom.”

So, he put his head down and went at the task for a few moments. Then he ripped the check out of the pad and handed it to me. On the “Pay to the Order Of” line, he had written the word “MOM”! Because to him – that’s who I am!

Filling out a check seems like second nature to me. But I didn’t realize at the time there are assumptions I make when I fill out a check, but that he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t call me by my full name in conversation, so why would he write it out on a piece of paper?

My friend, the D.A.R.E. Officer, and I had some great chuckles over lunch with these stories and he promises to bring me more! In the meantime, if YOU’VE got any stories on how kids say (or do) the darndest things – send ‘em over or post them in a comment below. We’ll all learn a thing or two in the process!

Writing from 6711 ft. above sea level,

Laura

Last night we had good friends over for dinner. Both are self employed and both have experience sending out bulk mail. We got talking about how we get our message out to customers and our male friend admitted he doesn’t mail out newsletters any more.

As a fellow small business person, I asked why.

Well, it seems the process is painful. No, no it’s not the process of writing up the newsletter or having it printed that’s the problem. That was the easy part, he said.

The problem occurs when you try to get your newsletter mailed through our U.S. Postal Service using the bulk mail service. It appears this is not a simple process. I’m sure there are very good reasons for the rules and regulations. Here are just a few things that he faced last time he tried to do a bulk mailing. (And he swears he’ll never do one again)

In this community, there is only one place you can go to send out your bulk mailing and that is the main postal center located south of town. Extremely convenient, I might say, for business owners located south of town. But for the majority – not so convenient.

Then, you have to go into THE BACK ROOM. (The same place they take you when you inquire about the cell phone policy)

If you don’t know what you’re doing (which is most of us), there is an 8 hour class you must take so you can learn the various and insundary rules and regulations that make this experience so much easier in the long run! God help you if you haven’t attended the class and you venture into this dark and inhospitable territory alone.

Someone will peer over their glasses at you and with an expression of horror and disgust they’ll say, “But there is a class for this. You mean, you haven’t been to THE class?!?”

My friend now describes himself as “Stupid White Man”. He is emotionally scarred. (Just so you don’t think he or I are racist, which we are definitely NOT, please substitute “Stupid _________ Man/Woman/Child” with your favorite or most applicable demographic category.)

After going through THE class, learning the right way to prepare his mail, driving waaay down south with the box of 1500+ newsletters destined for affordable and speedy bulk mail dispatch, he was stopped in his tracks.

What now? (you’re probably wondering)

Well, it seems he made yet another big (BIG) mistake. He stuffed his newsletters inside envelopes with “First Class” printed on the outside. (BIG, BIG MISTAKE)

They politely told him, “No this just won’t do (Stupid White Man)”.

But there was a glimmer of hope. All was not lost! He resolve the whole problem without buying new envelopes and re-stuff each and every newsletter. It would be a simple matter, really. He could return to his office, sit down at his desk with a black felt tip marker and line out the words “First Class” on each and every envelope.

So he did. Sitting under a naked lightbulb with loosened tie and sweating brow, Stupid White Man lined out the offending words, one-by-one with his black felt tip marker.

Which is why you get much less bulk mail newsletters these days.

We small business owners really do have the best of intentions. We DO want to stay in touch. We know how much you love (LOVE) those entertaining crossword puzzles, mind-numbing trivia contests, inane jokes and boring articles with overused stock clipart (the ones where everyone has their arms crossed).

We realize you’ll sorely miss one more piece of bulk mail in your post office box. But it’s increasingly clear that running the gauntlet at our beloved U.S. Post Office discourages even the best of us and the most dedicated Stupid White Guy.

Writing from 6711 ft. above sea level,

Laura B.