Gentle readers, in my last post we covered a whole slew of reasons why it’s important people step forward and speak up. In this post we’ll continue the theme and address exactly HOW you’re supposed to carry it off!
I find it interesting when those in leadership roles say, “We have an open door policy here. No one should ever hesitate to bring an issue to my attention. After all, I can take it!” While that may be true, it doesn’t mean that others feel confident enough – trust enough – to walk through that door.
Open door
A number of obstacles prevent them from bringing you their concerns. Maybe they fear for their job if they say the wrong thing (i.e. kill the messenger). Perhaps they’ve spoken up in the past and it wasn’t well received. They ended up going on “The List”. (You know which list I’m talking about, right?) Maybe there was subtle or overt retaliation. They probably even paid close attention the last time someone else took a stand and raised an issue – and watched as that person was left out of the loop, marginalized and even mocked.
I can tell you what it feels like, because those of us who attend Tea Parties, still to this day continue to be ridiculed…because we dared to speak up…because we cared enough to speak up. But all the ridicule in the world is worth it when you believe strongly in something based on deeply held principles.
So for those of you who dare, here’s HOW to speak up and raise your issue:
- List the outcomes you’re after. First, ask yourself, “What results am I trying to achieve. How will I know if or when I’m successful?”
- Consider your audience. Whom do you wish to influence? Are they interested in facts and specifics or is it real life experiences that sway them? Then position your message to meet their needs – not yours.
- Practice first in a low-threat environment. No need to go straight into the lion’s den if you don’t have to. Pick a few friends who will listen to your pitch and see what they think about your approach. Adjust your message based on their feedback.
- Test the waters. Check in with a few politically savvy colleagues to see if this is the right time. There could be winds a’ blowin’ powerful enough to cause a shipwreck if you walked through the door today vs tomorrow.
- Use the “4-F” Method to maintain focus: address the FACTS of the situation, then the FEELINGS people experience, followed by the FALLOUT which are the results or ramifications if nothing changes, then be sure to ask for FEEDBACK. There’s no particular order you must follow – adapt it to your circumstances.
- Use the CARLA Concept(TM) Model to analyze before and after. Some people call this a ‘post-mortem’ when you do a gap analysis on the heels of a big project. C = identify the circumstances you face; A = clarify the actions you plan to take (or did take); R = the results you achieved (or hope to achieve); L = the lessons learned; A = alternatives or another approach for the future. If you write out each step in this Model and plug in your circumstances, you’ll be better prepared.
- Write a letter. Some of us are more persuasive when we write our concerns down vs verbalize them. We can always “talk to” the points on paper, but writing it down will relieve some of the stress of having to remember it all.
- Listen first. Simmer down a bit, squelch that rising sense of injustice and frustration and make yourself listen to the other side before you loosen the tongue!
- Build a backbone – be determined. Don’t give up if you get knocked around a bit the first time – figuratively speaking, of course! Few things worth having come easy. The process of having to reassert yourself will test your resolve, help you refine your words, develop your reasoning and build critical thinking skills. Don’t be a wussy and give up 5 minutes before the miracle!
- Stick to your principles. Do not allow yourself to get sidetracked on incidental arguments. Avoid following someone down the rabbit hole and stay centered on your key message and core concerns.
- Your opinion may not matter. If you’re talking ethics issues here, your opinion doesn’t count. There are guidelines, rules and standards by which we operate in any organization or governing body. It’s easy to get caught up in the grey areas, so remember to go back to those core principles as “true north” to avoid being compromised.
- Lower your voice. The higher your voice tone, the more likely you will escalate the situation into a shouting match. Dropping your voice one octave can serve to calm the others down, lower the stress level and allow people to hear one another better.
- Reassess the win-win. You know, I always disliked that term because to me, it smacked of “roll over” and give up. But there ARE ways to find areas of common agreement. In one of Stephen Covey’s lessons, he uses the analogy of two people sitting in a room. One is cold and wants the window closed; the other is warm and wants the window open. See if you can think of a number of ways to achieve “comfort” for both parties that may have nothing to do with the window at all.
I think 13 is a good number to close with, don’t you?
Till next time…
