It’s sad to note Field and Stream Huntress is no longer an active blog, but while they were, the editor was kind enough to post a joke or two and a number of stories I sent them. I enjoyed reading the comments people added to some of the posts – especially one on self-sufficiency.
I think we’ve become too darned dependent and are losing the ability to be self-sufficient.
We rely on automobiles to get around, even if we’re only going around the corner, which then prompts us to pay money and join a gym so we can exercise with machines. We rely on technology to send emails to someone sitting right next to us at work rather than build those interpersonal communication muscles. If something breaks, we’re more likely to throw it away versus figure out a way to fix it. In an emergency, we wait around for someone to rescue us instead of rolling up our sleeves to help ourselves. Helicopter parents instill a “learned helplessness” in their children. This escalates to an absurd level when mom or dad calls “little Johnny’s” supervisor to protest the performance rating their child received. (I’m not making this up.)
When’s the last time you did something for the very first time?
When my friend Paul Hauler in Rochester NY asked me the question above I answered, “Last month when I learned how to hunt elk.” But it occurred to me that I’d also settled into a pretty safe lifestyle. I hadn’t been stretching myself, learning new things or risking very often. On the contrary, I’d been working hard to LIMIT risk after having been through a few personally grueling years.
The problem with protection is we contract. Rather than reach out to explore and expand, we close up and limit opportunities. We don’t learn new skills and develop self-sufficiency muscles that make us more resilient, resourceful and better able to bounce back from life’s challenges and change.
Maybe elk hunting wouldn’t be your first choice, but perhaps you might try one of the following:
- scuba diving
- taking a new route to work
- trying a different restaurant
- fixing something rather than throwing it out
- persevering through till the end of that challenging book
- learning a new skill, such as woodworking
- change a flat tire
Once in a while, do something that is really, really hard.
Put yourself in a position where you feel dumb. Where you’re not sure of the answer, so you have to muddle through to figure it out. Whether you get it right the first time or it takes you a number of tries, you will gain a greater sense of self-confidence knowing you’ve tackled something difficult and didn’t give up.
And here’s the most important benefit of all…
You’ll model for others it’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to fail once in a while and it’s good to put your ego at risk to become more self-sufficient in the long run!
Want to start with something fairly safe? Inserted below is an exercise I use in my training seminars. It’s called The Painter’s Cup and it’s fun to do with a work team, your scouting pack, board members, book club or ladies group at church. Through this exercise, people will learn what it feels like to be doing something for the very first time. Enjoy!
Laura
PAINTER’S CUP EXERCISE
You can either facilitate this process by yourself for the entire group OR you can break them up into mini-teams and have each group select their own team leader. Then, take these team leaders to a private location and teach them how to make the Painter’s Cup. They will then return to their team and guide them through the exercise below. Warn them to expect people to get frustrated. Some will refuse to complete the exercise, some might walk out the door and some might crumple up the paper and throw it at them!
Team Leader: Quickly read these instructions to your team. Do not allow them to ask questions. As people become more frustrated, read the directions again, more slowly this time. Answer questions as they arise. The third time, read the instructions and SHOW them how to make the painters cup, step by step.
“Roll the piece of paper lengthwise into thirds and crease.
Then, roll the piece of paper crosswise into thirds and crease again.
Take the two folds which outline one corner and bring those folds together in a straight line. Crease the edge you have created.
Then, do the same for each corner.
Take two of the corner seams you just created, fold them back and across each other, and fold the excess down at the top.
Do the same to complete the other side of the box.
I’m finished with my instructions. Please make your painter’s cup.”
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TEAM LEADER: AFTER EVERYONE HAS FINISHED MAKING THEIR PAINTER’S CUP, DISCUSS THESE QUESTIONS AND LEVERAGE THE TEACHING MOMENTS!
1. What was frustrating about this exercise?
2. What made you successful – eventually?
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
After reading this, I’m sending you an e-mail I got from Sandy Morris, my cousin Kathleen’s daughter in Seneca Falls,NY. I named it “The confusion of entitlement with opportunity” “There is no free lunch”
Hi Norm! You are SO right! There IS no free lunch. Entitlement is the quicksand of impotence. Those who build their skills and pursue opportunity do themselves a much bigger favor than those who hold out their hands. Thanks for writing!
Hi Laura,
Excellent information and a good source of motivation. Training towards my black belt in mixed martial arts certainly taught me things about life and myself that I would have known other wise. Thank you for encouraging people — such as myself — to stretch themselves. I am motivated to do so Laura by your article.
Have a great day and God bless both you and your family Laura.
Craig
P.S.– Thank you for your ongoing friendship. You are the best!!!