That’s the problem with snowstorms…it gives you time to think…and get creative…and dream up all kinds of wild and crazy ideas for people who are wise enough to read your ramblings. ha! I’m in Colorado Springs and for the second week in a row we are happily (some of us) snowed in. So here’s what I’ve come up with during the time alone with my computer:
It’s soon to be a New Year. No doubt you have people in your life who are just driving you crazy! No, I’m not talking about the normal people who you live and work with. I’m talking about the ones who really have a screw loose. And you know it. Yet you’re still thinking it’s “your issue”, aren’t you?
Well here’s one of Laura’s Dirty Little Secrets: it’s NOT you. YOU don’t have the problem. YOU are just trying to go about your daily life doing the best you can. You show up for work, you do a good job, you pay your bills on time (well, most of them anyway…we all have our moments), you try to be a good and kind spouse, partner or parent.
I know all the pop psychology says to take responsibility for the part you play and to look inside yourself and recognize that we create our own reality…yadda yadda yadda. (That’s the New Yorker in me coming out!) But honestly, there are times when you are dealing with someone who is toxic and no amount of personal responsibility on your end is going to change that fact!
In the New Year, let’s make a deal. Just like business owners do when they have to fire a customer, you may need to give your difficult person the pink slip. You may need to build a bubble around yourself and stop giving permission to this person to infect your life with negativity, guilt, anxiety and stress.
Gasp! You say you’re NOT giving them permission to drag you down? Yes you are! Think about it. I’ll bet you can come up with at least ONE way you are allowing them to take over your mind and your time. Decide that your peace of mind is much more valuable than hurting their feelings.
But “that’s not nice” you cry. No, it may not be, but I’m confident that you can find a way to let ‘em down easy. Whether you limit the lunch dates, tell them you only have 5 minutes instead of 40 to talk on the phone, opt out of the annual camping trip with the woman who complains about her husband nonstop the whole time you’re there (in front of him no less…yes, it’s a true story), etc.
And here’s the best trick of all – cultivate relationships with people who make you happy, who make you feel good, who are respectful of you. You need to extract the tentaclesthe bad guys have wound through and around your life and psyche and then (before they slither their way back in) you’ve got to plug the gap with something and someone positive.
This one New Year’s resolution will probably make you happier overall than giving up chocolate or Captain Morgan! For more tips on how to tame the difficult people and ”Godzilla’s” in your world, take a gander at this: www.LauraBenjamin.com/difficultpeople.htm
In the meantime, I’m going back to the coffee pot for round two and considering the wisdom of grabbing the snowshovel before this storm kicks in again later today! Wish us luck out here in Colorado. We need the moisture but it sure is putting a crimp in the holiday parties!
Best regards,
Laura, “The People Person™”
